Dr Effingpot
by KDLizzy
Summary: Anyone confused with British terms? Well look no further then here. -Some words in here may be found offensive, please look at own risk.-
1. DR EFFINGPOT IS BRITISH

_**Hello everyone, I'm KDLizzy here with some stuff that might be useful to you.**_

_**Now then when writing as England, i have some terms commonly used. it helps to know these things so that you are able to get his character right.  
**_

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_**Disclaimer: Note thats these were taken from Effingpot . com, go there for more details and more british terms.**_

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**"Ace** - If something is ace it is **brilliant**. I used to hear it a lot in Liverpool. Kids thought all cool stuff was ace, or brill."

**"Arsehole** - **Asshole** to you. Not a nice word in either language.

**Arse** - This is a word that doesn't seem to exist in America. It basically means the same as **ass**, but is much ruder. It is used in phrases like "pain in the arse" (a nuisance) or I "can't be arsed" (I can't be bothered) or you might hear something was "a half arsed attempt" meaning that it was not done properly."

**"Barmy** - If someone tells you that you're barmy they mean you have gone **mad** or **crazy**. For example you'd have to be barmy to visit England without trying _black pudding"_

**"Bloody** - One of the most useful swear words in English. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise i.e. "bloody hell" or "bloody nora". Something may be "bloody marvellous" or "bloody awful". It is also used to emphasise almost anything, "you're bloody mad", "not bloody likely" and can also be used in the middle of other words to emphasise them. E.g. "Abso-bloody-lutely"! Americans should avoid saying "bloody" as they sound silly."

**"Bugger** - This is another fairly unique word with no real American equivalent. Like _bloody_ it has many uses apart from the obvious dictionary one pertaining to rather unusual sexual habits. My father was always shouting "bugger" when he was working in the garage or garden. Usually when he hit his thumb or dropped a nail or lost something. Today we might use the sh** or the f*** words but bugger is still as common. The fuller version of this would be "bugger it". It can also be used to tell someone to get lost (bugger off), or to admit defeat (we're buggered) or if you were tired or exhausted you would be buggered. You can also call someone a bugger. When I won £10 on the lottery my mate called me a "lucky bugger"."

**"Bleeding** - An alternative to the word _bloody_. You'll hear people say "bleeding hell" or "not bleeding likely" for example."

**"Blimey** - Another exclamation of surprise. My Dad used to say "Gawd Blimey" or "Gor Blimey" or even "Cor Blimey". It is all a corruption of the oath **God Blind Me**."

**"Budge up** - If you want to sit down and someone is taking up too much space, you'd ask them to budge up - **move** and make some space."

**"Belt up** - For some reason I heard this quite a lot as a kid. It's the British for **shut up**."

**"Bender** - I used to go out on a bender quite frequently when I was at university. Luckily bender doesn't only mean a **gay** man, it also means a **pub crawl** or a **heavy drinking session**. The sort of bender I went out on was the second kind. Obviously!"

**"Bollocks** - This is a great English word with many excellent uses. Technically speaking it means **testicles** but is typically used to describe something that is no good (that's bollocks) or that someone is talking rubbish (he's talking bollocks). Surprisingly it is also used in a positive manner to describe something that is the best, in which case you would describe it as being "the dog's bollocks". Englishmen who live in America take great delight in ordering specialised registration plates for their cars using the letters B.O.L.L.O.X. Good eh?"

**"Cheeky** - "Eee you cheeky monkey" was what my mother said to me all the time when I was a kid. Cheeky means you are **flippant**, have too much lip or are a bit of a _smart arse_! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last word. My licence plate on my MX5 (Miata in American) was CHEEKY, which most Texans thought was something to do with bottoms - wrong!!"

**"Chinese Whispers** - This a good one. It refers to the way a story gets changed as is passes from one person to the next so that the end result may be completely different from what was originally said. Sound familiar?"

**"Cock up** - A cock up means you have made a **mistake**. It has nothing to do with parts of the male body."

**"Daft** - My Dad used to call me a daft 'apeth which is short for a daft half penny (in old money). It basically means **stupid**."

**"Dim** - A dim person is **stupid** or _thick_ or a _dimwit_. **Dimwit** - Someone a bit on the dim side."

**"Dodgy** - If someone or something is a bit dodgy, it is not to be trusted. Dodgy food should be thrown away at home, or sent back in a restaurant. Dodgy people are best avoided. You never know what they are up to. Dodgy goods may have been _nicked_. When visiting Miami I was advised by some English chums that certain areas were a bit dodgy and should be avoided!"

**"Excuse me** - This is a great one! It's what kids are taught to say when they belch in public. We are also taught to say "pardon me" if we fart out loud. Unfortunately in American "excuse me" means you are encroaching in someone's personal space and you say "pardon me" when you don't hear someone properly. Imagine our surprise when we discovered that actually Americans are not belching and farting all the time."

**"Fiddle sticks** - I have an old Aunt who is much too well mannered to swear. So when the need arises for a swear word, she will substitute "fiddle sticks"."

"**Full monty** - Since the movie has come out of the same name I have heard some odd Texan descriptions of what the full monty means. It really has nothing to do with taking your clothes off. It just means the **whole thing** or going the **whole way**. That's it. Clearly when applied to stripping it means not stopping at your underwear! The origins of the expression are still under discussion. There are many theories but no conclusive evidence at the moment. "

"**Get stuffed!** - Even politer way to tell someone to _get lost_ is to tell them to get stuffed. However, this is still not a nice thing to say to someone. "

"**Getting off** - This seems to be the objective of most teenagers on a big night out. Getting off with someone means **making out** or _snoggingh_ them."

"**Gobsmacked** - **Amazed**. Your gob is your mouth and if you smack your gob, it would be out of amazement. "

"**Love bite** - You call them **hickies** - the things you do to yourself as a youngster with the vacuum cleaner attachment to make it look like someone _fancies_ you!"

"**Off your trolley** - If someone tells you that you're off your trolley, it means you have gone raving bonkers, **crazy**, **mad**! "

"**Pip pip** - Another out-dated expression meaning **goodbye**. Not used any more."

"**Prat** - Yet another mildly insulting name for someone. In fact, this one is a bit ruder than _pillock_ so you probably wouldn't say it in front of Grandma"

"**Shite** - This is just another way of saying **shit**. It is useful for times when you don't want to be overly rude as it doesn't sound quite as bad!"

"**Snog** - If you are out on the _pull_ you will know you are succeeding if you end up snogging someone of the opposite sex (or same sex for that matter!). It would probably be referred to as **making out** in American, or serious kissing! "

"**999** - **911** to you. I have no idea why we have different emergency service numbers. Just to ensure that foreigners never get help when they REALLY need it I guess!"

"**Football** - **Soccer** to you. The national sport. Both on and off the field sadly! At school, usually called footy or footer."

"**Maths** - This is what you call **math**. It is short for "mathematics", the study of numbers. What I want to know is what you have done with the "s""

"**Pub** - The cornerstone of British social life. Every village has a pub, or several. These tend to be friendly sociable places to go for a pie and _pint_, meet the locals, get a cheap meal and drink some of that nice British beer, we know you like so much. They usually have a beer garden and maybe a skittle alley, pool table and always a fruit machine or two. Town and city pubs come in several varieties. There are the drinking men's pubs, where the guys who leave the missus at home go, to chat to their _mates_ and have a _fag_. There are the trendy, loud, expensive yuppie pubs. There are the family pubs which have separate rooms where kids can go, and they have lots of food and a playground (yuck!), and then there are the nice ones. "

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_**Now then, don't forget to go to effingpot . com and look at more British terms and other oddities**_

Remember, Dr. Effingpot came up with these not me

but hahahah i love his nickname. C:

(P.s. His last name is Etherington.)

Thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope this helps you Iggy fans!


	2. COWS REFUSED TO BE TIPPED WITH OUT BEER

_**Hello everyone, I'm KDLizzy here with some stuff that might be useful to you.**_

_**Here are some little fact about England. it helps to know these things so that you are able to get his character right.  
**_

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_**Disclaimer: I got these from sites on the web, so some might not be true. Please do some research of your own if you are not okay with using these facts.  
**_

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The Saxons destroyed London Bridge in 1014 by using boats and ropes to tear it down. Some people wonder if this is where the idea originated for the nursery rhyme, "London Bridge".

Berengaria of Navarre married King Richard the Lionhearted and became Queen, but never once stepped on English soil!

Windor Castle is both the oldest and the largest royal residence anywhere in the world that is still being used as a royal home.

London is the largest city in Europe. There are over twelve million people living within the greater London area.

In Medieval England animals were brought into court, and tried and sentenced by the judge for any mischief or damage they did!

A clever Frenchman opened London's first hot chocolate store during the mid 1600s. By the early 1700s these chocolate stores were almost as common and popular as the coffee stores.

The Bank of England has a nickname, 'The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street'

During the summer heat wave of 2003 the temperature in London reached 100 degrees F for the first time.

The world's first public zoo first opened in 1829 in London.

The English love their tea. They consume more tea per capital than any other country in the world. Their tea consumption is more than thrice of Japan and a whopping twenty two times more than America or the French.

England is bordered by Scotland to the north and to the west, it is bordered by Wales. It takes it's name from Angles. Angles was the name of a Germanic tribes that settled in the territory during the fifth and the sixth century.

England enjoys a temperate climate. It has rainfall all year around. The seasons are however variable in temperature. Temperatures rarely falls below minus five degrees celsius or rise above thirty degrees celcius. The weather is therefore mild and wet, due to the prevailing wind from the Atlantic Ocean, which lies to the southwest of England.

England is the second largest economy in Europe. It is the fifth largest economy in the world. It is also the largest of the four economies of the United Kingdom. At least a hundred of Europe's five hundred largest corporations are based in London.

It exports manufactured goods, with beef being one of the main goods it exports. It exported over twenty five thousand tonnes of beef last year with countries like Italy, Greece, Netherlands, Spain, Belgium and France. (does he not have cows to tip?)

England is one of the most populous countries in the world. It has almost thrice the population of Australia and California. Its population is only three times lesser than the population of Japan. However, England is seventy four times smaller than the United States of America, three times smaller than Japan and fifty nine times smaller than Australia.

England has many cultural and other places of interest all over its territory. It was the host to the world's first ever modern Olympic Games, and not Athens as it is popularly said. The first modern Olympic Games were in Much Wenlock in Shropshire, England in 1850. The Olympic Games in Athens were held in 1896, almost half a century later.(IDK about this one, but i'm not even going to argue with anyone )

Most police officers in England do not carry guns with them unless it is an extreme emergency. (no they just beat people with sticks CB )

The world's oldest and largest chained library lies in the Hereford Cathedral, England. This place also had the world's best preserved Mappa Mundi.

Shoelaces were invented in England in 1790.

Some of the most common indigenous animals in England include foxes, otters, badgers, blackbirds, and sparrows. (Foxies!)

The city of Bristol is known as "the Seattle of England" because of its youth culture and booming fashion reputation.

Among the three ghosts said to haunt Athelhampton House, one of them is an ape.

In England, in pubs or bars, you can have drinks but you are not allowed to **get drunk**; and in Scotland you are on the wrong side of the law if you are drunk and in possession of a **cow**. (Cow tipping while drunk. . . cows)

Contrary to popular belief that **Big Ben** refers to the world famous clock, it is actually the name of the thirteen ton bell. The tower itself is known as **St. Stephen's Tower**.

That London is one of the cities with the high **cultural diversity** in the world, can be gauged from the fact that about 25% of the **inhabitants of London** were born outside of England!

Did you know that London has had many names in the past? It was called **Londonium** during the Roman Invasion, **Ludenwic** in Saxon times, and **Ludenburg** during the kingdom of **_Alfred_** the Great. (um . . . what?)

The **London Eye** is the tallest observation wheel in the world and each rotation takes about 30 minutes. (America is probably working on a bigger one right now hurhur)

In the **Great Fire of London **that wreaked havoc on the city and necessitated massive reconstruction work, the casualty count was only eight! (indestructible British people?)

The treasures contained in the **British Museum** span two million years of world civilization. (Like a roman cup with two guys having sex on it. look it up hurhur)

Did you know that the **river Thames**, which flows through London, has over 200 bridges and 20 tunnels?

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.(.....)

Queen Victoria loved Valentine's Day cards. In fact, during her reign, she sent nearly 2500 cards.

In the early days of England, numerous Kings presided over many of England's Realms. It's possible that you had to follow different laws in different sections of England, depending on where you traveled. ( lol like city states? hmmmmmmm where'd he get that idea from? kukukukuku)

England is known for cities and town with long names. It may shock you to know that Ely is the city in England with the shortest amount of letters it the name

Over 12,000 accidents happen per year when English people put on socks, pantyhose or other type stockings. ( thats it i want England in pantyhose right now D: ! )

There are over 300 languages spoken by people in the country of England.

**Cinderella** is officially the UK nation's most favourite fairy tale, followed by Sleeping Beauty and Hansel and Gretel. (oh princess Iggy, i had no idea hehehe )

The only English place that has a name that ends with and exclamation mark is "**Westward Ho!**".

The most common name for a shopping center in United Kingdom is **Arndale**.

The most popular name of pub in Britain is the **Red Lion**.

In medieval England **beer** was often served with breakfast

The highest ever winning score in University Challenge was 520 by University College, Oxford, in 1987.

Chancery Lane has the shortest escalator on the **London Underground** system - Only 50 steps

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Yes yes i have such free time

tell me if you want me to put information about any other country, cause i have lots of free time.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope this helps you Iggy fans!


	3. MMMM, I WOULDN'T MIND A BANGER

_**Hello everyone, I'm KDLizzy, here with some stuff that might be useful to you.**_

_**SO YEAH, this is what happens to you when you watch the food network for like, hours on end. D: ignore me i fail so hard.  
**_

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_**Disclaimer: I got these from sites on the web, so some might not be true. Please do some research of your own if you are not okay with using these facts.  
**_

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English cuisine may suffer from a relatively poor international reputation when compared to that of French cuisine and Italian cuisine. However, at least for the English, this perception of English food may seem outdated: the poor reputation of industrially produced urban food in the twentieth century did not ever really represent the quality or taste of food cooked in the home. Traditional English food, with its emphasis on 'meat-and-two-veg' falls squarely into the north European tradition extending from Northern Germany to the Low Countries and Scandinavia, albeit with a marked French influence.

During the Middle Ages and Enlightenment, English cuisine enjoyed an excellent reputation; its decline can be traced back to the move away from the land and increasing urbanisation of the populace during the Industrial Revolution. During this process Britain became a net importer of food. British food also suffered heavily from effects of rationing during two World Wars (food rationing finally ended in 1954), followed by the increasing trend toward industrialised mass production of food. However, in Britain today there is a renewed fascination with the politics and culture of food popularly led by celebrity chefs who seek to raising the standard of food understanding in the UK.

In 2005 British cuisine reached new heights when 600 food critics writing for (British) _Restaurant_ magazine named 14 British restaurants among the 50 best restaurants in the world with the number one spot going to The Fat Duck in Bray, Berkshire and its chef Heston Blumenthal. In particular, the global reach of London has elevated it to the status of leading centre of international cuisine. Meanwhile the heavy promotion of gastronomy as a post industrial economic solution has led to a proliferation of very fine quality producers across the country.

Since the end of World War II when their numbers were around 100,000, increasing numbers of the British population have adopted vegetarianism, especially since the BSE crisis of the 1990s. As of 2003[update] it was estimated that there were between 3 and 4 million vegetarians in the UK, one of the highest percentages in the Western world, and around 7 million people claim to eat no red meat. It is rare not to find vegetarian foods in a supermarket or on a restaurant menu.

is believed by some that the English "drop everything" for a teatime meal in the mid-afternoon. This is no longer the case in the workplace, and is rarer in the home than it once was. A formal teatime meal is now often an accompaniment to tourism, particularly in Devon and neighbouring counties, where comestibles may include scones with jam and clotted cream (together known as a cream tea). There are also butterfly cakes, simple small sponge cakes which can be iced or eaten plain. Nationwide, assorted biscuits and sandwiches are eaten. Generally, however, the teatime meal has been replaced by snacking, or simply dispensed with.

Tea itself, usually served with milk, is consumed throughout the day and is sometimes also drunk with meals. In recent years herbal teas and speciality teas have also become popular. Coffee is perhaps a little less common than in continental Europe, but is still drunk by many in both its instant and percolated forms, often with milk (but rarely with cream). Italian coffee preparations such as espresso and cappuccino and modern American variants such as the frappuccino are increasingly popular, but generally purchased in restaurants or from specialist coffee shops rather than made in the home. White sugar is often added to individual cups of tea, or brown sugar to coffee, but never to the pot.

For much of the 20th century Britain had a system where fresh milk was delivered to the doorstep in reusable glass bottles in the mornings, usually by electric vehicles called "milk floats", though it has now been largely replaced by supermarket shopping.

**LIST**

* Bangers and mash (sausages and mashed potato)  
* Beef cobbler  
* Black pudding  
* Bubble and squeak  
* Cauliflower cheese  
* Cheese  
* Cornish pasty  
* Cottage pie  
* Cumberland sausage  
* Dumplings  
* Fish and chips  
* Full English breakfast

* Gravy  
* Hash  
* Jellied eels  
* Lancashire hotpot  
* Lincolnshire sausage  
* Parmesan (Teeside)  
* Pie and mash  
* Ploughman's lunch  
* Pork pie  
* Shepherd's pie  
* Scouse  
* Sunday roast  
* Toad-in-the-hole  
* Yorkshire pudding

Sweet dishes

* Apple pie  
* Banoffee pie  
* Bread and butter pudding  
* Christmas pudding  
* Clotted cream  
* Dumplings  
* Knickerbocker glory  
* Mince pie  
* Queen of Puddings  
* Spotted dick  
* Sticky toffee pudding  
* Syllabub  
* Custard  
* Trifle  
* Treacle tart

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**IDK i was looking up food and was like, hmmmmmm, why don't people look up crap like this? maybe its just me and my fail. **

**What ever if you have and Q&Cs just review. i try not to look up offensive stuff, so if anything offends you in this, it wasn't me, i just showed you it.**

**Much love, Lizzy.  
**


	4. HHM EMPIRE OLTMPIC, YY?

_**Hello everyone, I'm KDLizzy, here with some stuff that might be useful to you.**_

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_**ALRIGHT THEN.**_

_**From some of you who have been telling me i've forgotten things or messed up terms on the first chapter, please, tell the person who actually made those definitions **_

_**EFFINGPOT . COM**_

_**thank you for your lovely comments as well.**_

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_**Disclaimer: I got these from sites on the web, so some {{MIGHT}} not be true. Please do some research of your own if you are not okay with using these facts.  
**_

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_[["The **Commonwealth Games** is a multinational, multi-sport event. Held every four years, it involves the elite athletes of the Commonwealth of Nations. Attendance at the Commonwealth Games is typically around 5,000 athletes. The **Commonwealth Games Federation** (CGF) is the organisation that is responsible for the direction and control of the Commonwealth Games._

_The first such event, then known as the **British Empire Games**, was held in 1930 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The name changed to **British Empire and Commonwealth Games** in 1954, to **British Commonwealth Games** in 1970 and assumed the current name of the Commonwealth Games in 1978. As with the Olympics, they have been subject to political pressure, a notable example being the 1986 boycott by some nations protesting Britain's refusal to impose sanctions against South Africa._

_As well as many Olympic sports, the Games also include some sports that are played mainly in Commonwealth countries, such as lawn bowls, rugby sevens and netball._

_There are currently 53 members of the Commonwealth of Nations, and 71 teams participate in the Games. The four constituent countries of the United Kingdom – England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland – send separate teams to the Commonwealth Games (unlike at the Olympic Games, where the United Kingdom sends a single team), and individual teams are also sent from the British Crown dependencies – Guernsey, Jersey and the Isle of Man – and many of the British overseas territories. The Australian external territory of Norfolk Island also sends its own team, as do the Cook Islands and Niue, two states in free association with New Zealand._

_Only six teams have attended every Commonwealth Games: Australia, Canada, England, New Zealand, Scotland and Wales. Australia has been the highest scoring team for ten games, England for seven and Canada for one._

_At the 1930 games, women competed in the swimming events only. From 1934, women also competed in some athletics events._

_The next edition will be held in 2010 in Delhi, India. In 2014 the Games will be held in Glasgow, Scotland._

_The **Commonwealth Youth Games** are a small-scale version of the Commonwealth Games, designed for children and young people._

_The inaugural Commonwealth Youth Games were held in Edinburgh, Scotland, in 2000, and the second in Bendigo, Victoria, Australia, in 2004._

_The third Games took place in Pune, Maharashtra, India, in 2008, and were viewed in part as a test event for the 2010 main Commonwealth Games. The fourth Games are scheduled to take place in Douglas, Isle of Man, in 2011. From 2011 onwards the Games will revert to a four-yearly cycle. The hosting of the 2015 Commonwealth Youth Games has been awarded to Apia, Samoa . Wrexham in Wales has so far expressed an interest in hosting the 2019 Commonwealth Youth Games._

_In the latest edition of the Games, in Pune, hosts India topped the gold medal tally with 33 gold, followed by Australia and England with 24 and 18 respectively._

_**Commonwealth Winter Games** have been held to supplement the multi-sport Commonwealth Games, which focus on summer sports. This is in analogy to the Winter Olympics augmenting Summer Games._

_The Commonwealth Winter Games was held in St. Moritz in Switzerland in 1962._

_It was proposed to hold Winter Games in 2010 in India, alongside the 2010 Games in New Delhi. However, the event was eventually not organised. The proposed venue was Gulmarg, where the Indian National Winter Games have been held in the past. Jammu and Kashmir Chief Minister Ghulam Nabi Azad said, "Kashmir would be developed as an industrial destination and paradise of tourism. In this direction, Kashmir has been selected as spot across for holding 2010 Commonwealth Winter Sports.""]]_

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**OH GOD SOMEONE STOP ME**

_**HEHEHE YEAH SO**_

_**when i found this i was like, British Empire Olympics plz?**_

_if you have any requests on what i should look up and post about, please, tell me._

**Much love, Lizzy.  
**


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